astitchaway's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- that's love I've got such a great knack for only braving this thing in the late hours. You know, when my brain is ready to fall asleep and it couldn't be bothered with staying awake long enough to articulate thoughts. Or God forbid travel into the subconscious to pull out useful things to say. But I don't think I have anything useful to say, and maybe that's what is going on. I mean, the usual family drama. Same old writing dilemmas. Not working or bothering to look, but I am focusing on my mental health. There's not much to say there though since I'm mostly playing the waiting game. The only thing I really have to talk about, that I am dying to ramble about, is him. But, I know there won't be anything that hasn't been said before. And truth be told, I'm much happier telling *him* how I feel than I am writing it all down in this blog. I'll whisper those sweet nothings to him. I'll rattle off ideals for the wedding, changing my mind every time of course, but the moral isn't what I'm saying, rather why I'm saying it. I tell him how much I love him, more than anything. Fuck, just telling him I'll stop contemplating suicide... That's love for me. A kind of love I have never had for anyone else. I've never told someone basically "I love you enough to not want to give up". Because I do. I love him enough to see past the misery that is every day life. I know he's worth it. He'll make it worth it. Every day I'm here and otherwise miserable, he'll make me smile, and remind me why I try... Oh, what more can someone ask for? 1:58 a.m. - 2016-03-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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